For those of you with grown children do you remember what it was like when they had their first crush? Of course I've been involved with many crushes when it comes to boys liking girls as my husband and I have four of them. However, our youngest, my baby, is our only girl and now that she is in high school has discovered the opposite sex. No longer are they nasty and stinky. Nope - now suddenly she says to me: It's weird but I really like hanging out with guys better than girls. I don't know why but I just have a lot more friends that are guys than are girls. Suddenly I have alarms going off in my head. They sound like police sirens strangely mixed with the doink doink sound of Law & Order. Instinctively I say to myself: "just keep a closer eye on her - it's fine."
Then comes the call - from her bedroom. "MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM" yells Kennedy. "CAN YOU COME TO MY ROOM?" For those of you with younger children please note right this minute that an invitation into the bedroom by your teenager is something that you must never turn down. It's the moment in time where for some reason their disgust for you has become tolerant enough that they believe they want to actually have conversation with you. I run. I do not hesitate. I need not think of why. I don't care. I have been invited. I run up the stairs as fast as I can and into the bedroom across the balcony - of course it's the farthest one from me :) She's sitting on her bed and I ask calmly (like it's no big deal) "What's up cutie?" she says kind of shyly, "Well, I guess I should tell you. You know that thing you said I should always let you know about?" I'm searching my mind like an un-folded load of laundry that has swallowed your one matching black sock. Outwardly I stay calm. "Oh yeah? What's that?" Kennedy is smiling sheepishly and I'm seriously beginning to wonder if she's reached a new stage of dork when she lets it drop. "I'm GOING with a guy"
Readers - at this point you need to know that my parenting style is one of always always ALWAYS keeping an open line of communication. It's pretty simple. If you talk to your children they will talk to you. If you treat them with respect they will in return respect you. If you show them your love often, they will eventually treat you with love in return......after the "my parents are retarded" stage is finally over. That being said - when I hear these words I draw a blank. I'm seeing snow in my head - I have no words to say - I got nothing. Tick tock goes the clock. Kennedy is staring at me and I am wondering why I'm staring at her in return because I am 100% completely blank. She brings me back. "Did you hear me?" I smile and shake my head. I find my voice. "Really? Who is it?"
I sit down on her bed and she lets me. Wow. This is serious. From this point on she tells me about the boy. How dreamy he is - how nice he is and the information comes to me in fragments as I'm only able to wonder what "DAD's" reaction is going to be. This is another story, Reader, but it will be interesting. As for now I am only reveling in this moment and in the fact that my daughter has chosen to deem me worthy of conversation. We chat. She smiles. I smile. I'm very open and frank about reminding her that even though she is in high school, the fact still remains that she is 14. The age 14 still means: no dating, no "I love you" notes, no hanging on eachother. None of it. Of course she says she knows and wouldn't do that anyway. My inner "me" is laughing her ass off because I know she will at some point. Hopefully not yet. Hopefully not for quite a while. But I know this is where one of the hard parts of parenting comes in. The part where you have to care - A LOT - because now you're going to be at ALL functions and hanging out with a large group of teenagers until after graduation because that's what it takes to be involved and aware of what's actually going on.
Football game comes and I meet him. He's in the marching Band with Kennedy. I say "Hello" and quickly inform him of the ground rules for hanging around my daughter (I cannot bring myself to say boyfriend/girlfriend yet). He says yes, ma'am to me multiple times. He is cute as she says. Polite as she says. Manners, talent and a brain. Okay - I get it. However, that night at home I remind her that it's more important than ever to stay grounded and realize that all of the teenagers running around saying I LOVE YOU to every boy they date, hanging on eachother, and getting serious when they haven't even figured out what their life is about yet is a very dangerous thing to do and that I would not tolerate this behavior. She agrees. WHAT????? Yes. She agreed with me and reminded me that I had raised a very level-headed daughter.
TIME WILL TELL. I am watching like a hawk. My house will not be clean for another four years because now it is yet again the "hangout" place for teenagers. I'm okay with that. It's the price of being a parent - a good one anyway.
TO BE CONTINUED........
