The Second....

So I'm sure you've already made a mental note asking yourself if I'm seriously going to name my posts by their corresponding number each and every day.  Shut up already.  I'm new to this so I have not figured out crazy, engaging or tear jerking titles that will surely grab the reader's attention.  My name is not Hazel.  And while some of you will not know who Hazel is, be certain she is quite the crafty speaker/writer and always has an interesting twist to everything.  Irritating to say the least. 

Anyway.  In my previous blog I dared to tempt mother nature by predicting my evening beginning with that particular moment in time and following my activities through bedtime.  What an idiot I am.  Last night I did, indeed, go home to a perfectly cooked piece of salmon (if I don't say so myself) but the hubby preferred a garden salad and baked potato to my ceasar option.  My universe unraveled at that very moment.  I catered to his request as he opened the bottle of wine.  Chardonnay - because I can't drink red wine with fish.  Seriously?  If you fell for that ask the person beside you to smack you.  I drink any kind of wine at any point in time as long as it's set in front of me.   Do I digress?  No.  This will all tie together shortly.  Settle down. 

So as hubby opened the wine and poured a rather large amount into the stemless wine glasses we use (yes we use them because there have been too many drunken moments and spills on the white carpet) I began chopping veggies and eventually sipping the wine.  Funny thing though - I was not finished chopping veggies for our salad just yet when my wine glass appeared to be empty.  I innocently looked at Brian and asked him if he had mixed our glasses and drank my wine.  He smiled graciously, patted my back, and said no honey but it's no problem - we have plenty.  Thus he refilled my glass which stayed full just long enough for me to finish putting our dinner together. 

Now at this point in time I've had two large glasses of wine.  What is wrong with that you say?  Nothing.  I was feeling pretty sensational and realized that - jeesh - after just two bites of my yummy salmon I'm suddenly full.  But hey!  I need more wine and look at that - Brian does too!  I selflessly offered to open a new bottle and refill our glasses.  Brian was very pleased that I was showing so much kindness and accepted my offer immediately.  He continued eating - I opened more wine and poured.  I sat back at the table and chatted like a teenager for the next 15 minutes as Brian ate and I did not.  He has the BEST idea.  Screw the dishes for now - let's go sit on the deck and enjoy our evening.  What????  Don't do the dishes?????  Gosh honey - you get a big fat kiss for that one.  Now reader - please don't think I'm under playing when I say big and fat.  Brian was extremely grateful that when I bent over I totally missed his mouth and ended up planting a big wet one on half of his face.  Thank our Lord above he was still in a sitting position because clearly we would have ended up on the floor.  Wow!  All I could say was - you guessed it - Wow!  I can't believe I almost fell can you?  Again, my loving husband smiled and patted me gently while saying, Honey - let me carry your wine for you as you go to the deck.  Gosh what a great guy. 

Soon we are on the deck enjoying our wine immensely but what's this???  Suddenly - at the same moment my son arrives home with his girlfriend.  I notice, much to my dismay, that yet another glass of wine is gone - but God has sent me Ben who immediately offers to run and get me another glass.  I love Ben.  Ben is my favorite.  I said this to him again and again and again so he would be sure to remember. 

Now at this point reader - my night begins to become fuzzy.  I can simply tell you there was yet a third bottle of wine opened and apparently I decided to switch to red - because I thought I had had too much white and I knew that it would be bad to have too much white.  So I switched from Chardonnay to Shiraz and was grateful that my good thinking would save me in the morning.  I do know that at one point my sweet Kennedy came home and hugged me.  I told her that I loved her and that she was my favorite - just 4 times - but that she cannot at any cost tell Ben because surely his feelings would be hurt.........with a big wink at Brian.  See reader?  I am sooooooo smart!  Ben will never know!!!!

Finally my hubby told me it was almost midnight.  Gosh - I feel a little unstable.  He asked if I was finished with my wine.  Of course not I immediately yelled!  I'll take it to bed with me.  But wait?  Where's yours?  What?  You did not drink that last bottle with me???????????????  Needless to say he helped me up the stairs and off to dreamland I went!!

This morning you ask?  I stumbled into the bathroom to get a look at my awesome purple teeth, grab a bottle of water out of the mini fridge along with the bottle of tylenol and stumbled back to bed for another half hour.  WTH?  I didn't even get a good trip to Narnia for the price of this headache.  I will NEVER open another bottle of wine again.  NEVER!!!  Of course until my husband calls and asks if we're meeting for happy hour.  THE PRESSURE OF IT ALL!