Right now I 'm focusing on the consumption of water. Why? Because I want to be healthier. It's not just water that I'm focusing on, I'm also doing things like eating small 200 calorie meals 6 times a day and walking, which surprisingly enough is not hard to accomplish at all. It's this damn water that is driving me crazy. Understand that for a living, I sit at my desk in front of a computer talking on the telephone. That's it. I call literally hundreds of people a week and then a fraction of them will actually call me back. A smaller fraction will listen to me tell them why they need to appear in Good Housekeeping Magazine and then an even smaller fraction will agree with me. For this to take place though, I actually have to be sitting at my desk. Makes sense, right? Now back to the water. When you drink 125 ounces of water before 5pm every day, does it really leave you with any time to do much else besides drink and pee? Forgive my vulgarity reader, but seriously - I don't remember a time that I went to the bathroom 4 times in just 3 1/2 hours!!! Now let's be clear - there's none of this "tinkle tinkle" shit happening. No. Not when you have 64 ounces of water in you before Noon. It sounds like the maintenance man is in the bathroom using a power washer to clean the toilet. This leads to the next subject - public bathrooms. Granted the bathroom I use is only shared by approximately 15 women on my floor, but I'm guessing that hearing a power washer person in the bathroom is not a pleasant experience for them to endure. Could you imagine taking your bathroom break at work, walking into the bathroom, and being assaulted with the sounds of a raging waterfall? I'm sure everyone who has had to encounter this disgusting event has stopped for a second to make sure there wasn't water spraying anywhere - a toilet leak - a busted pipe - certainly those aren't the sounds of a normal human being?
Water - obviously it's necessary - even the 125 ounces before 5pm if I'm trying to get my body back into healthy condition. All I can offer is an apology to those who have to hear me complain and have the rotten luck of entering the bathroom at the same time as I do. I'm sorry.
Water - love to hate it.
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